Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
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