what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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