The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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