I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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