becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
