JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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