have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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