If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
