and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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