A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
