i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
