At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Sorry my hands just texted you
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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