gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
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