i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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