he shaved USA in his pubs
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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