we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
