Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
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