Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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