Nicole vs. Life
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
