5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
