how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
