it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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