Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
