im about as happy as oj after his trial
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
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