My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
