Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
i out mim tonsoeep
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
