that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
