I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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