toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
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