Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
