One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
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