This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
