The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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