I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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