Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
