tell your sister to shave her snatch
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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