and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
