hotel room ftw
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
