How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Randomize
