ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Randomize
