I accidentally burped into my bong.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
