You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
