we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
