Barsexuality is the new black.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
