other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
