Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Randomize
