I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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