I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Randomize