let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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