After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize
