it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
