your thong is hanging out like whoa
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I just found a bag of teeth...
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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