I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I have post one night stand depression
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