Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
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