The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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