i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
