That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
