I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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