im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
