You don't have asthma, your pregnant
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
