Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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